How to have a lovely drive
- #1 Overestimate amount of passenger time (we all know it is unsafe to knit and drive, right? Right?), and let fear of running out of yarn goad you into packing no less than four knitting projects.
- #2 Once you reach the distance where suggesting a turn around might result in damage to your person, discover you have left second ball of crucial yarn at home. Say prayer of thanks you have FedEx account number in your Blackberry.
- #3 Remember, with pained expression, that in your last blog post you made some snide remark about being able to get said project done without incident. Make plans for undercover yarn replacement or FedEx. Keep knitting, offering up prayer that by the Grace of God you actually have enough yarn to finish scarf in the ball you have with you. Convince yourself of all the scriptural support you know that God does indeed like knitting. Attempt not to panic.
- #4 An hour later, discover that you have left the pattern at home. Wonder if maybe God just thinks knitting is a pretty metaphor. Leave message for those at home–who, of course, are not knitters–in hopes you can get them to call you back and read pattern to you over the phone.
- #5 Consider calling Pearl at Knitty City, because she is a nice lady and would help you, but decide this would besmirch your professional reputation.
- #6 Remember that one of your blog readers has talked about knitting this scarf, so she obviously has pattern, and you have her Facebook address. She knew you in college so she already knows what an idiot you can be. Message her asking for pattern details.
- #7 Receive return call from those at home, reading you pattern as if it were foreign language. Take it down in bumpy car-ride handwriting, assured you’ll know what you meant.
- #8 Discover you were wrong, and that you can’t read your own writing. Start knitting anyway.
- #9 Take out row you just did because you forgot to change back to larger needles.
- #10 Receive FB message from friend with pattern details, assess you’ve got enough yarn, and exhale. Calculate distance to nearest Steak N Shake for celebration.
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